Last Thursday, my good friend, Bill Cruse, was ordained a priest in the Episcopal Church. He would say that it had been a long journey with some difficult and sometimes frustrating twists and turns and I am grateful to have been part of his amazing journey as a friend and mentor.
Bill’s journey reminded me of my own discernment process which was, as it should be, not easy, with rejections, self-doubt, and amazing support from insightful friends and mentors. When I was 21, a mentor, who had the notion that I might be struggling with discerning what I was called to be or do, told me that there were at least four steps to the discernment of one’s ministry (any ministry, not just the priesthood.)
- Pray – regular prayers cultivate your relationship with God.
- Listen to your trust friends who will tell you the truth about yourself even when you don’t want to hear it.
- Know your strengths and gifts.
- Know your pain and struggles (your inadequacies, limitations, weaknesses).
I prayed regularly and I had a circle of trust friends who would tell me the truth, so I was doing okay with the first 2 steps. While I was also pretty good at naming my strengths and gifts – I compose music, I am a good thinker, I am a good listener, I observe and learn very fast, I am a good planner, I can get things done if I put my mind to it, I am blessed with a loving family, etc. – I had been avoiding my pain and struggles up to that time in my life. When I followed my mentor’s advice and embarked further on this journey of discernment, I discovered that the fourth step was the most important because it was through facing my pain, limitations and inadequacies that God pointed the way for ministries.
Some of the limitations caused me to work to overcome them. For example, as an immigrant who had to learn English in a very short time in order to survive and get into college, I know my English skills was not good enough to do anything involving the art of public speaking and writing. Yet, as I explore deeper into this weakness, I discover that I did have a lot to say and, with perseverance, I learned to be a good communicator and not worry about whether I was speaking correct English. I also worked hard in learning the art of writing and eventually became a successful author of many books. I also learned to get help – I had a good friend, Kent Steinbrenner, who was a trusted friend and a copy-editor for my writings before I published them.
The pain of rejection was always present in my experience as an immigrant, Chinese American and a gay man. When I was in denial and avoided facing these struggles, I was also avoiding knowing who I was. Without a strong understanding and acceptance of myself, I was lost without a clear purpose in life. As I entered into a deep reflection of my pains and struggles, I realized that I shared these pains and struggles with many who were rejected and disadvantaged in the world because they were different: gender, age, sexual orientation, language, ethnicity, skin color, etc. With this realization, I discovered my call to ministries—to create gracious environments where no one is being disadvantaged because of who they are. And I chose to realize this call through becoming a priest in the church.
Why would I want to create inclusive communities in an institution called the church that had not done very well in being inclusive? In fact, the church had been part of the system of exclusion in the past. Perhaps I want to challenge the church to do the 4-step discernment process – to pray, to listen to the truth-tellers, to know its strength and gifts and most important of all, to know its pain, struggles and limitations, so that the church can discover anew its call to ministry in the world.
The Spirit of the God is upon me,
Because God has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.God has sent me to proclaim release to the captives
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.
(Luke 4:18-19)
Don’t forget to join me this Tuesday, January 26, 2016, at 2 pm EST (11 am PST) for a Livestream Conversation on my new book Holy Currency Exchange. You can RSVP at https://www.facebook.com/events/1264895013537091/
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Upcoming Opportunities to Study with The Sustainist and learn more about Holy Conferencing: February 29-March 4, 2016 May 4-7, 2016 July 18-22, 2016 |
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Reflection Questions for Third Sunday after Epiphany (Year C) Nehemiah 8:1-3,5-6, 8-10 Psalm 19 1 Corinthians 12:12-31a Luke 4:14-21 |
Eric H. F. Law
Kaleidoscope Institute
For competent leadership in a diverse changing world
www.kscopeinstitute.org
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