I have been teaching community to use the process of Mutual Invitation for over 30 years. With a group of 5 to 12 people, Mutual Invitation ensures everyone is invited to share with the option to pass or to pass for now. Much has been said about the effectiveness of the process – it helps people listen, it honors each person, it builds self-esteem, it puts the powerful and the powerless on the same level, etc. There are now communities that have been practicing this process for extended periods of time, and we see the long-term impact of this process.
“Since I have been using Mutual Invitation, I am more aware of who is excluded everywhere I go.” This is a recurring comment I have heard about Mutual Invitation. In reflecting on this, I notice that I am also very acutely aware of who is included or not in different environments, perhaps, I am benefiting from the accumulative effect of Mutual Invitation.
Once, I attended a meeting in which only a few persons spoke and the majority did not get a word in. At the end of the meeting, I asked the leader, “How did you think the meeting went?”
"Great!” He said, “Everyone contributed and we all agreed with the decision!”
He honestly did not notice what I saw. His brain was not conditioned to think inclusively in terms of actual verbal participation from each person in the group.
I also recalled how new groups using Mutual Invitation the first time struggled with the process. In particular, some would not remember who had been invited and needed to ask those who had not spoken to identify themselves. This is an indication that the brains of the people have not yet been trained to think inclusively.
How does Mutual Invitation work in training the inclusive brain? In order to be able to do Mutual Invitation, a person has to pay attention to who has been invited and who has not. Over time, the brain expands its ability to notice who is included and who is not. This ability extends beyond the time when one is practicing Mutual Invitation and comes into play in all kind of situations.
The next time you participate in a gathering using Mutual Invitation, pay attention to what you are learning. As you listen and pay attention to each person and then from person to person, notice who is being invited. Notice and affirm that you and the individuals in the group are learning not just the idea of building inclusive community, but developing a new pattern of thinking that is inclusive. The pattern of thinking is key to developing our currencies of relationship, truth and wellness.
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Upcoming Opportunities to Study with The Sustainist and learn more about Holy Conferencing: April 21-25, 2015 July 20-25, 2015 August 6-11, 2015 November 1-5, 2015 |
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Reflection Questions for 4th Sunday of Easter (Year B) Acts 4:5-12 Psalm 23 1 John 3:16-24 John 10:10-11-18 |
Eric H. F. Law
Kaleidoscope Institute
For competent leadership in a diverse changing world
www.kscopeinstitute.org
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